


Unresolved

by Socket



Category: The Bill
Genre: Angst, F/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:38:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6962836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Socket/pseuds/Socket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Should she be building a future with Saul or trying to resolve her history with Terry?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unresolved

**Timeline:** Episode 381

  


Ramani sits on her sofa with a glass of whisky. Between being assaulted, Terry's backbiting and Saul's keen attention, it's been a strange day.

She's drinking for courage, before she calls Saul to give him an answer. She's nervous – she's only been dating Saul for two weeks and he already wants to introduce her to his family and friends. It's moving too fast and she can't seem to stop it, because if she slows things down she'll have time to think and thinking leads to Terry…

Ramani is happy, even though she would have side-stepped this relationship with Saul less than a month ago. The list in her head is endless - reasons why it will never work long-term, but she needs someone in her life who is for her and her alone. She's had to share Terry and it's left her feeling insignificant: to have Terry be her first priority knowing that she doesn't even register on his radar, that was beyond endurance.

Saul made her stop thinking about the past, made her laugh in a carefree way... something she could easily get used to, given the chance. But there was something in his eyes when he asked about Terry.

Saul's words echo in her memory. 'It's pretty obvious to me that there's unfinished business between you two.' It had made her want to laugh uproariously - there would always be unresolved feelings between her and Terry - that's just the way life is, an abundance of loose ends and unspoken truths.

It hangs in the air sometimes, this thing between her and Perkins. It's like smog - thick, blinding and choking... Ramani does what she can to ignore it because there is no other way - to acknowledge it would be to accept her true feelings for him and, given his recent erratic behaviour, she's not prepared to do that.

Maybe she should go to that wedding with Saul, meet his family, feel a part of things instead of sitting on the sidelines watching life pass her by. Sadly, Ramani realises that's exactly what she's been doing – she's put her own life on hold, waiting for Terry to return to her, to see her, to choose her... but she's sick of waiting. Saul is ready, Saul wants to be with her and she wants to be happy again.

Deciding that she will attend the wedding, Ramani feels a twinge of guilt over Terry. She pushes that feeling aside; she needs to get her clarity back. She used to see things so plainly, but since the episode with Margaret, everything has snowballed.

Margaret was the turning point, that was when Ramani lost control of her life - she began to spiral downwards, plummeting so fast that everything became a blur... but Terry had reached out and stabilised her, he became her lifeline. And even now that the disappointment and anger over Lucy is fading, she can't think of him without hurting. He was her one true friend and he threw that away, disregarded all they had meant to each other, willingly, to be with Lucy.

Ramani picks up the phone and dials.

"Hello?" Saul answers.

She smiles at the sound of his voice. "Hello. I just wanted to let you know that I would love to go to your cousins wedding, if you still want me to."

There's a pause and then Saul breaks into an exalted whoop. "I'm so glad! I can't wait for everyone to meet you – they're going to love you!"

She laughs and thinks, this is how it should be – easy.

With Terry, it's like treading a minefield and she's had enough of feeling bad, had enough insecurity and self-recrimination. It's a new year and part of her resolution is to only look forward, and in the not to far distance, she can see a future with Saul.


End file.
